Awaken Me (The Jaded Series Book 4) by Alex Grayson

in my stomach. The way his lips felt against mine was both scary and exciting. I hope we do it again soon.
     
    I smile as I read Anna’s words. I have no doubt I would have liked her. The way everyone talks about her, I know she was very special.
    I skip ahead a few entries.
     
    June 30, 1999
    Dear Diary,
    There was a boy at school today that was picking on me. His name is Tommy. I was standing by my locker when he came up to me, calling me nasty names and then knocked my books from my arms. His friends were laughing and pointing at me and all I could do was cry. I hate Tommy. All he’s ever been is mean to me.
    I was sniffling my tears away and bending down to pick up my books when Nick came out of nowhere and punched him in the nose. There was blood everywhere. It was nasty, but I couldn’t help but feel good about it because Tommy deserved it. In Nick’s deep voice that always send shivers down my spine, he told him the next time he saw him picking on me he would put him in the hospital. When I looked at Nick, I could tell he was telling the truth. He looked very angry.
    Then Nick came to me, wiped the tears from my cheeks and kissed me softly on the lips. He told me everything would be okay, and promised he would make sure Tommy didn’t bother me anymore. Everything was right in the world again. I knew Nick would do what he said. That’s the type of person he is. He always keeps his promises. That’s why I love him so much. That’s why I’m going to marry him someday.
     
    A tear trails down my cheek at Anna’s dream that never came true. Although I want Nick for my own, I still feel sorry that Anna never got her happily ever after.
    I read several more entries, some involving Nick and some not, but the one constant is that Anna is a very charming person. I can see why everyone in town loved her. Her personality demanded it, and if you didn’t, you were missing out on one of life’s precious gifts.
    I tuck the diary back in the box and get to my feet. I’ve been down here long enough. The last thing I need is for Nick to find me down here.
    I look around the room one more time before leaving, turning the light off and closing the door behind me. I head back up the stairs and switch that light off as well. Getting a peek into Nick and Anna’s life left me feeling hopeless. I know Nick loved Anna, still loves her, but I couldn’t help but secretly wish he could maybe one day hold feelings for me. I could never replace Anna, I know that, but I’m coming to wonder if it’s even possible for Nick to develop even a smidgeon of what he held for his first and only love. The hold he still hasn’t released on Anna makes me think it’s impossible. I wouldn’t want him to forget their life together or the love they shared, but maybe open more of himself up? It seems so unrealistic now though.
    Once in the kitchen, I decide to dig around to see what I can make for dinner. Looking through the freezer, the only thing I find is some hamburger meat. I put it on the counter to defrost. I’m sure I can do something with it. I look through the pantry and find a couple cans of kidney beans and a can of tomatoes on the top shelf. Chili it is, then.
    I look out the window over the sink, wondering where Nick is. What he’s doing. What he’s thinking right now.
    I wash the few dishes in the sink. After, I take a seat on the couch and grab the remote to see what’s on TV.
    Nick needs time to himself. I know when to push and when to withdraw, and the hard set of his shoulders as he walked away from Jaxon and Mac earlier said do not fuck with me right now .
    I hate feeling helpless like this. I hate not knowing what to do to help him. I would give almost anything to see the Nick I saw in the pictures downstairs.
 

Nick
    I swing the ax over my shoulder until it meets wood and relish the burn it leaves behind on my arms. I reach up and swipe the sweat from my forehead with the back of my arm. I took my shirt off an hour ago