early for the young mothers and their preschoolers, but there were people anyway. Two scruffy teenage boys yanked on the swing chains and tossed the seats back and forth. Bandannas sprouted from the calves of their old blue jeans like weird, bedraggled plumage. Three swings were already wrapped all the way around the top pole. Vandalism comes to Oakwood, she thought with disgust. She hoped those rats hadnât been chewing away at the gazebo as well.
No use staying here. She didnât feel like answering a round of âHey, babyâ âs from some jerks in cutoff denim and leather. One of them looked like heâd been in a fight. Great, she thought. Another place I canât go. Just what I want, a bunch of heavy-metal maniacs invading my park.
But that was unfair. Simon wore leather, and he seemed all right. She remembered him standing in front of her, his nervous fingers unable to stay still, uncomfortable as she had been so many times. Then she had felt an empathy that had drawn her to him; now she saw what heâd been toying with. She drew her hand from her pocket and looked down. It was a starâlike the one that lay in her palm, the one she had found on her back steps.
Anger and fear shook her. Nothing was sacred. Nothingat all. She couldnât even go home. She felt violated. She had almost made him a friend. I want Mom, she thought.
The bus showed up, as if on command, as soon as she reached the bus stop. She couldnât turn back now. The rush-hour crowd had already thinned out, and there were plenty of seats.
At the hospital she swept by the reception desk without checking in. Itâs my right, she told herself. Sheâs my mother. I belong here. She tried to look like she had business to attend to.
The elevator took forever to arrive, and when she got in, the car moved so slowly, she thought sheâd scream. I suppose they donât want to give anyone a heart attack, she thought as she scuffed nervously at the brass plaque on the floor that said OTIS . When the elevator finally stopped, her heart gave a lurchâwhat if Mom was sick like last time? But she got off anyway.
She turned the corner by the nursesâ station and kept on walking. Out of the corner of her eye Zoë saw the nurse there leap to her feet, but she wasnât going to stop for an interrogation now. She wasnât going to be put off. She had to talk to her mother. She knew the nurse was catching up by the rustle of petticoat against crisp uniform, so she ran the last few yards and flung the door open.
Her father looked up, startled, still clutching his wifeâs hand to his chest. The nurse arrived behind her. âWhatâs going on?â
âItâs my daughter,â Harry Sutcliff answered, almost as if he were reminding himself.
Our daughter, Zoë thought. Sheâs not dead yet.
âIâm sorry,â the nurse said, âbut she looked so strange. Itâs okay?â
He nodded, so she left, leaving the door ajar.
âZoë, whatâs wrong?â her father asked. He seemed to be grasping futilely for reasons for her to be there. Had the house exploded? Had there been an earthquake?
He was distracted by a raspy voice from the bed. âWhy arenât you in school?â There was a quirky smile on her motherâs face, half amusement, half something more bitter.
Her words gave him something to hold on to. âWhy arenât you in school?â he repeated at Zoë, unaware of the inane echo.
âItâs okay, Harry, really,â her mother said in that whispery rasp. âWhatâs a day here and there?â Tubes rattled softly as she tried to gesture gay abandon.
Zoë saw her father struggling not to argue. He had always been strict about stuff like that. âBut how many days?â He stared at Zoë accusingly. âI havenât got room to worry about where you are every day, you know that, Zoë.â
âFirst time,
Bodie Thoene, Brock Thoene