Louise Rennison_Georgia Nicolson 05 by Away Laughing on a Fast Camel

points. What mustering points? What are we, bucking broncos?
    I said to Ro Ro as we dragged ourselves up the swimming pool steps, “I can’t believe this.”
    When we tried to go and get changed, Elvis had locked the doors to the changing rooms. He said, “Come on, come on, follow the exit signs pronto.” Rosie, who was practically hitting Mr. Attwood in the spectacles with her nungas, said, “Yes but where do the signs lead?”
    And he said, “Outside to safety. Now get a move on.”
    â€œOutside??”
    Minutes later we were outside, in early April, in the car park. In our semi-nuddy-pants.
    We were shivering like mad when Mr. Mad came round with some bacofoil stuff. I said to him, “This is hardly the time to be roasting vegetables.”
    And he, in a rather surly way for someone who was supposed to be calming me down in the face of a towering inferno, said, “It’s to wrap round you.”
    Marvelous.
    Thank you.
    3:00 p.m.
    I will not easily forget standing in a car park wrapped in bacofoil next to Herr Kamyer, also in bacofoil.
    He was still trying to be normal. Not that he has the slightest idea what that is, as he is German.
    He said, “So girls, shall we sing a little song to practice our German? I know, let us do the funny camping one of when the Koch family go away and they forget many things which we must list.”
    God save us all.
    saturday april 16th
    Jas has gone off to the Forest of Fools with Hunky, so the rest of the ace gang went to Churchill Square for essential shopping items. It’s incredibly nippy noodles and parky, but that didn’t stop us casually sitting on a wall chatting and lad spotting. There were hordes of lads ladding about. There is an all nighter at the Buddha Lounge tonight, but unfortunately since my report card I am virtually under house arrest. It is a lot of fuss over nothing. Slim said on the “remarks” part of my report card, “Georgia is an intelligent girl whose academic career is blighted by her immature japes.”
    â€œImmature japes.” Lawks a mercy. I bet when Slim went to school they used to make their own fun with bits of old Weetabix packets. And a really great night out was going down the grocers and thinking about what you could make with dairy products. But tragically, life is not like that. We do not do “immature japes,” we do really sophisticated japes.
    1:15 p.m.
    Just as we were reapplying lippy after our nutritiouslunch of choc ices, Dave the Laugh and Rollo came along. When they saw us, Dave said, “Be gentle with us.”
    What is he going on about? Ellen practically exploded with ditherosity. I, on the au contraire , was a visage of casualosity; I even remembered to smile with my tongue behind my back teeth. Dave winked at me. Shut up winking.
    Rollo was looking all sheepish. I think he still likes Jools, even though he finished with her. Jools is keen but she is playing hard to get. Ellen has obviously taken my hints from our boy bible on how to make any fool fall in love with you seriously. She was flicking her hair around so much I thought she might snap her neck. And also she was combining it with darting glances. Dave said, “Alright, Ellen?”
    And she said, flicky flick, “Yes, I’m alright, Dave, are…you…alright?” And she gave a very meaningful flick and darting glance. But no one got it.
    As I was being a bit reddish Dave’s so-called girlfriend turned up. She is not pretending to be reddish, she IS reddish. Good grief she is friendly. She said, “Oh hi, everyone, great to see you again.”
    Was it? Why? Before I knew it we were all pretending to be really jolly and friendly for no reason. It was very very tiring. After they had gone, Jools and Rollo were talking to each other “privately,” so Rosie and Ellen and me went to try out makeup in Boots. When Ellen went round the other side of the “Rich