Tales Of A RATT by Bobby Blotzer

engineered the work, and this demo with Dokken was fantastic. Absolutely kick ass work. Don took the demo, telling Tom and I, "Look, if anything happens, you guys are getting half the publishing on these songs.” It wasn't a big deal. We felt we were just repaying the favor. You know? He put our names in the hat, and we got the gig and were off on a major arena tour. So, it's the least we could do for a bro.
    So, Don goes down to Hamburg and he comes back with a briefcase full of money! And, we're like, "What?!?” He got his deal, you know? Then, he gives Tom and me a hundred bucks each. That was it. We never got any writing credit. No publishing. Those songs went on the Breaking the Chains record just as we had recorded them. We were uncredited, and by then he had gotten George Lynch, Mick Brown and Juan Croucier in the band.
    Typical Don.

"Yodel-Ay-Eee-Yodel-Ay-Eee-Yodel-Ay-Eee Oooo”
"Mary had a little sheep; With the sheep she went to sleep; The sheep turned out to be a ram; and Mary had a little lamb." - Steven Tyler
     
    After being in Cologne for two months, we boarded a train at the Cologne Station, heading for Switzerland for the beginning of the tour.
    While we were over there, Tom and I were in a hotel in Basil, Switzerland. We had just gone out on tour. We were listening to some Beatles stuff, and playing backgammon with the television on and the sound down. I happened to glance over and catch a map of the US with a big red spike stuck right in Washington DC. I was like, "What the fuck?" I turned the sound up.
    That was when we heard about President Reagan being shot. They showed the footage over and over. It was a very strange, disturbing feeling to be in a foreign country when someone tries to murder the President. Then, not long after that, some wackjob tried to kill the Pope. First Lennon, then Reagan, and then the Pope. It was a weird, disjointed time.
     
    Most of the holidays are the same, with a few exceptions. April Fool's Day is NOT one of those exceptions.
    While we were still in the hotel in Basil, I had this fax sent to me, and faxes were new then. I had never heard of a fax.
    "What the fuck is this? A fax? Okay…”
    I'm reading this fax, and it's from Eddie Van Halen. It says that Alex has been injured, and they need a fill in drummer to finish out the tour with.
    I was freaking out! Was this real?!? This was Van Halen! The biggest band on the planet. It seemed like a possibility! I mean, I'm here in Europe, about to go out on a major arena tour. Maybe I'm coming into my own, you know? They knew me from when I was in Airborn. Maybe they knew I was making records and out on tour? I was going to play with VAN HALEN??? This better be fucking real!
    I called Jeni, and was like, "Did anyone from Van Halen call and ask for the contact phone over here, or something?” She said, "No". I told her what was going on, and then we were both freaking out! The mighty Van Halen, and I was going to play with them!
    I rolled with this thing all the way into the night, calling and trying to find out any information I could. The end of the fax had a little blurb saying they would be in touch with all the important info. Then later that night, we were all liquored up in the bar, supposedly celebrating, when Vic starts laughing. He and Tom had set up the whole thing.
    "April Fool's, fucker!” The bastards...
    I got him back, though. After we got back stateside, we had a couple of weeks off before we went out on the road again. We were going to do a couple of rehearsals, just to tighten things up before heading out again. Vic was waiting for us down at the rehearsal studio.
    He had been staying at the Oakwood Apartments in Burbank at the time. So I got hold of him through Pricilla, the girl who worked the front desk at the Burbank rehearsal studio.
    I threw a bunch of bass in my voice and said, "Yes, Mr. Vergat? This is John Sweeney (or whatever name I made up in my head) over at the Oakwood Apartments, and we seem