To Kiss You Again by Brandie Buckwine

the smartest thing I’ve ever done.”
    “It’s not that,” she said, leaning into my chest.
    “Then what?”
    “Is that why you didn’t come today? Because you think I’m not right in the head?”
    The frightened look she gave me made me want to kiss it away. I tried. I kissed each of her brows and the bridge of her nose. “I didn’t come today because I’m a little crazy when it comes to you. I let fear get the best of me.”
    When she nodded and pressed her face against me, I pulled her close. “I’m not afraid anymore. The crazy you’ll just have to live with.”
    “You’ve met my sister?” She looked up at me. “I can handle a little crazy.”
    I took her hand and pulled her back through the house, to her bedroom. A tremor spread through her body when I untied her robe and slid it to the ground. Her lips opened to me, and I kissed her hard. Then, I took possession and made crazy love to her. My only regret was poor Carla, who undoubtedly heard our cries of passion well into the dawn.
    Before we finally fell into an exhausted slumber in each other’s arms, Jenny asked me: “When do you have to go back?”
    The same question plagued me all day, but I had come to a decision. “I don’t have to go back. I can work from here on my laptop, but I plan to start my own company.” I kissed her shoulder. “I’m here as long as you’ll have me.”
    She was quiet a moment, but followed with, “Are you still a peeping tom? Have you watched anyone since then?”
    I swallowed hard. “Only you.”
    She pursed her lips, and her brow creased.
    “It’s only ever been you, baby girl.”
     

Part XI
     
    When I wake, the sun is already over the eastern mountain and I am alone. The spot Matt occupied is still warm and again, I hear raised voices in the kitchen. If the two of them can’t get along, someone will have to go, and it won’t be Matt.
    I grab a dress from my bureau and pull it over my head as I head down the stairs. The sound of Carla’s whining grates on my nerves. While last night with Matt was incredible, it was pretty light for sleep, and I don’t want to put up with her shit.
    “It’s only a matter of time before you do something to ruin things with Jenny. Men are stupid pigs.”
    On opposite sides of the room, they both hold steaming cups. Matt sees me and raises his. “You have real coffee.” His grin tells me he has things handled with my sister, so I fix myself a cup and observe.
    “Why can’t men be faithful and keep their dicks in their pants?”
    Matt turns to her. “Would you just stop? I’m sorry you got screwed over. Welcome to adulthood. It happens, but not every relationship is like that.”
    “Sure. Act like you’re better than that. Just like a man,” Carla spits.
    “Maybe if you’d knock that chip off your shoulder, you wouldn’t set yourself up to get screwed,” he says.
    I watch their interaction like a disinterested bystander.
    “I don’t have a chip on my shoulder. I just wish men would act like human beings and not be so fucking selfish all the time.” Her voice is elevated and she stomps her foot like a child.
    “Of course you have a chip. For the first time in your life, you have no schedule and no plans. Your future is wide open, and it scares the hell out of you. People are pressuring you to figure out what you want to do with your life, and you have no clue.”
    His observation is so accurate, I’m blown away. Even Carla’s exaggerated resentment deflates.
    “That’s not true,” she whispers.
    “Sure it is. You hate that Jenny knew what she wanted from the start, and went for it. She’s living her dream, and you haven’t found yours.” His insight astonishes me.
    Pulling a chair from the table, Carla falls into it. “It’s not fair. Everyone has some kind of direction, and I just feel so lost.”
    Matt crosses the room and pulls out a chair next to her. She is surprised when he takes her hand. “Life’s not fair, but you’re not alone.