Shades of Gray by Brooke McKinley

shut, gripped the sheet hard with his unoccupied hand, teeth grinding together violently. He opened his mind just a crack—allowed himself to think about women he’d known, women he’d had, women he’d wanted.
    But when Miller came, hips bucking up off the bed in a violent shudder, it was with Danny’s face behind his eyelids and Danny’s name against his lips.

    Shades of Gray | 69
    DAMN, if Atwood could see him now. Danny “always been a fuck up, always will be” Butler, in a two-thousand-dollar monkey suit, sipping expensive champagne. Granted, the tuxedo was on loan and Danny’s everyday life was more McDonald’s than filet mignon, but still, not bad… not bad at all.
    “Danny.” A strong hand closed over Danny’s shoulder, claw-like in its boniness. “You enjoying yourself?” Danny smiled, the happy “I-live-to-kiss-your-ass” smile.
    “Having a great time, Mr. Hinestroza.”
    “Good, good.” Hinestroza plucked a fresh flute of champagne from the tray of a passing waiter. “Where’s Amanda?”
    “She couldn’t make it.” Danny paused. “We’re having some marriage trouble, actually.”
    Hinestroza frowned. “I’m sorry to hear that, Danny. I hope your personal situation with Amanda won’t make our continued use of her services a problem.”
    “No. She’s still on board for now,” Danny said carefully, not wanting to commit Amanda to anything long-term, but not wanting her to be seen as disposable, either.
    Hinestroza pointed with his champagne flute toward the couple being photographed under a loggia of red roses. “My Lily, doesn’t she make a lovely bride?”
    Shit… how to play this one? Too enthusiastic and he’d be looking 70 | Brooke McKinley
    at a broken kneecap for perving on Hinestroza’s daughter. Too nonchalant and it’d be a busted jaw for insulting her beauty. “She does, Mr. Hinestroza. You should be very proud.” Double clap on the back letting Danny know he’d answered just right. Call me fucking Goldilocks, Danny thought with an internal grimace. But part of him felt a sense of accomplishment, happy to have won Hinestroza’s approval even for something as silly as a comment about his pretty daughter. The odd combination of fear and loyalty that Hinestroza always produced churned in Danny’s blood. It would be so much easier if Danny could simply hate him.
    “Monday morning, it’s back to business,” Hinestroza reminded him with a wink, moving off into the crowd.
    “Sure thing,” Danny called after him, waiting until Hinestroza disappeared to down the rest of his champagne in one long swallow.
    Danny climbed the stone stairs leading to the overhanging veranda; no way to get close to the tables of food with people standing three deep in line. He could just make out the tip of a winged ice sculpture, unable to discern if it was swan or angel. From the edge of the veranda the ocean was visible, the endless blue fading to tattered pink on the edges as the sun dipped below the horizon. Much to his surprise, Danny had discovered a soft spot for the ocean, the sound, the smell, the vastness. All leading him to the certainty that his life—
    and every shitty, destined-to-burn-in-hell choice he’d made—didn’t matter much in the end. The notion was comforting in some perverse way.
    Hinestroza and his wife, Maria, had joined their youngest daughter and her new husband under the roses. Hinestroza smiled widely, no trace of cruelty today, as the photographer positioned the family this way and that for picture after picture.
    “Papa, Papa,” Hinestroza’s granddaughter called, weaving between guests to reach her grandfather. She laughed as Hinestroza lifted her easily and tossed her three-year-old weight toward the sky.
    Danny watched as she patted Hinestroza’s scarred cheeks, whispering into his ear, one finger twirling through his black hair that Shades of Gray | 71
    was just this year showing its first signs of gray. She was not afraid.
    She didn’t know