Surreal Ecstasy by Chrissy Moon

pocket
and hurried out the back door, not caring to close it behind me. I kind of
hoped Megan's husband would find it that way when he came home, and I
especially hoped he'd find the discarded condom that I purposely left displayed
in the bathroom trash. Then he would get miserable and divorce his bitch wife.
    Hey, it'd be a favor to her. What
chick would want to fuck anyone else after they'd slept with me, anyway?
    I smiled to myself as I hopped in
my SUV and sped away towards Lynnwood.
    * * *
    I parked my SUV on the street,
observing the action across the street very carefully.
    Just as I was informed, Morgan
Constantina was being wheeled out of Virginia Mason Lynnwood in a wheelchair by
some weird-looking chick. A lesbian, it looked like.
    I was ashamed to admit that for a
short time I'd forgotten that I even had a girlfriend. But not too long
ago, I was doing laundry (ridiculous that I should have to do my own) and I'd found
a shirt of mine that Morgan loved wearing all the time. As I held it in my
hand, I thought of and remembered her, so I took the time to ask my connections
about her situation.
    Good thing, too—apparently, she'd
been in the hospital. She'd believed I was out of her life for good and had
tried to kill herself because she couldn't live without me. And here I'd been
living the single life, fucking whoever I wanted and leaving a trail of broken
hearts behind me. Well, I'd make it up to her.
    I observed the scene as she talked
endlessly with the weirdo, deeply engrossed in conversation. Morgan was dressed
all emo or some shit—just like that other girl. I have never seen her dress in
that ugly shit before. Why was she wearing that? Suddenly, the lezz stopped short,
saying something to Morgan, and they turned themselves around and went back
inside the hospital.
    I got out of the car after checking
my visor mirror, smiling at what I saw in it. It would be impossible for any
woman to resist this vision of perfection.
    I jaywalked across the street and
jogged into the hospital lobby, spotting Morgan and her lesbo friend right
away. They were both faced away from me, the lezz stooping down on the floor.
    I snuck up behind them and listened
to as much of their conversation as I could.
    "…spent almost fifteen bucks
on these flowers, and we're not leaving them behind. It's my fault for putting
them here on the floor before I went to the restroom," the lezz was
saying.
    "I told you to let me hold
them. Why are you so stubborn? Haven't I proven myself by dressing like a
little Dess clone?" Morgan whined.
    "Hey, now. I gave you the
least offensive, most boring clothes I could find. If nobody sees the skulls on
your butt, those jeans look normal, and that red vinyl jacket makes you look
like you stepped out of the Matrix. And the next time you get admitted to the
hospital, try not to be naked," the lezz shot back.
    "There you are, baby!" I
said, putting on a charming smile. The poor thing was probably thirsty, and the
only thing that could quench her thirst would be a vision of me. "No one
called me. I've been so worried."
    The lezz turned Morgan's chair
around so they could both face me. Nobody spoke for a little while. My
girlfriend probably needed some time to enjoy seeing my face again, and the
lezz probably grew afraid that I was way too much competition for her.
    "Let's go, Dess," Morgan
said, standing up slowly, not looking directly at me. She was probably avoiding
eye contact with me because she was ashamed she'd forgotten to call me. I could
forgive her for that, eventually. Later I'd have to show her how she had
disappointed me, but first I wanted to take her back home.
    "Whoa there, babe," I
told my girlfriend, putting my arm around her to support her. "Let me help
you." Morgan yanked her arm out of my grip. Being in the hospital must
have traumatized her.
    I looked over at the lezz named
Dess. She just stood there giving me a dirty look. I hovered my hands over
Morgan's midsection and told the lezz,