A Roux of Revenge by Connie Archer

in my delusional state, and I’m sure I was delusional with hunger and grief, I decided to kill myself.
    “What I can remember now is stumbling out to the road. A car pulled up. College kids. They offered me a ride and asked me where I was going. They must have thought I was hitchhiking. I wasn’t in my right mind, and I’m sure they thought I was sick or stonedor something, but at least they were kind enough not to leave me in the road. They were heading for Bennington, and they asked me where I was going. I told them I’d had a fight with my boyfriend and my name was Miriam. I just made that name up on the spot. I was afraid if I told them my real name, it would sound strange to them and they would know who and what I was. I told them I wanted to gethome to Lincoln Falls. It was the only town I knew the name of. There were three boys and two girls. They looked at me strangely, but they bought me food and promised to take me to my home.” Miriam laughed. “Home. What a joke that was, but I knew it was safer to tell them a lie.”
    “What happened then?”
    “I was very lucky. We stopped for gas in the town. I told them I could walk from there.I was stronger by then. I’m not sure they believed me, but they didn’t argue, and we said good-bye. I owed them my life I guess. When I think what might have happened to me all alone out there . . .” Miriam trailed off.
    “I wandered around Lincoln Falls for several days. I was hungry again. I had no money, of course, and I looked like a street urchin. One night I waited in the bushes behinda restaurant. The cooks who worked there were tossing food away in the garbage can. I was so desperate. I waited until I was sure no one was in the parking lot and went to the bin. I opened the lid.” Miriam looked up. “I’m sure you’re horrified to hear this. That someone could stoop so low as to eat garbage from a restaurant. But I was starving, literally. Just as I reached for a discarded chickenleg, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I almost jumped out of my skin and tried to run away, but this man had grasped my arm. He told me not to be frightened. He had no intention of hurting me.” Miriam pressed her lips together in an effort to stem the tears. “He . . . he had a bundle of food from the restaurant that he was taking with him. He asked me if I wanted his food. All I could do was nod. Somethingin his voice made me trust him. He told me again not to be frightened, but I should sit in his car to eat. If I was afraid, I could leave the door open. He told me again he wouldn’t hurt me or even touch me. I knew he was telling the truth. That man, that wonderful kind man, was Doug Leonard, my husband. May the heavens keep him and bless him.”
    Lucky reached across the table and squeezed Miriam’shand. Tears had sprung to her eyes.
    “He told me he lived in Snowflake with his elderly mother whom he cared for, and the house had an extra bedroom off the kitchen. He said if I didn’t have a safe place to stay, I should come home with him. I was freezing and decided to try it for one night.” Miriam looked out the window, remembering. “One night, that’s what I thought then . . .” She laugheda little at herself. “That was the beginning of my real life. Doug was a good ten years older than I. He worked in sales and sometimes had to travel. He had been paying for home care for his mother when he couldn’t be there, so he offered me a job. I could keep the room as my own.” Miriam smiled at the memory. “I’ll never forget that. It was a beautiful room with lovely wallpaper, flowers all overthe walls, and expensive sheets and pillows, a bureau and everything. In exchange, I took care of the housework and the meals. His mother, my future mother-in-law, was a very sweet lady. She was barely ambulatory, but she was no problem. I took care of bathing her and of her laundry and meals and medications. She was very bright. Age hadn’t dimmed her mentally. Millie