Sexual Reawakening - 10 Simple Steps by Dr. Erica Goodstone

Your Body Is Stronger Than Your Willpower
    Even if we are able to override our unique sexual
response pattern for a while, our body is stronger than our willpower.  A
poignant example is the case of a boy who, after a botched circumcision as an
infant which left him with a mutilated penis, was reassigned as a female, given
a female name, surgery and female hormones to encourage feminine development. 
However, no matter how he was encouraged to dress and behave like a girl, his
bodily response did not concur.  He preferred to urinate standing up facing the
toilet.  He hated wearing dresses and walking the way he was taught a girl is supposed
to walk.  Teased mercilessly by his classmates in school for being weird and
after spending years on the psychiatrist's couch to accept himself as a girl,
when he was finally told the truth about his genetic maleness he was relieved. 
He knew than that he was not weird.  He knew that he was in fact, male, with
male traits, male drive, and male desire for females.  His body had told him
all his life what nobody else had been willing to say -- that he was a male
being forced to live as a female.  The gender reassignment did not work. 
Finally, after much reconstruction surgery and two suicide attempts, he emerged
as a male and eventually found a woman to marry.  ( Colapinto, 2000)
    Although this is an extreme example, many of us have
likewise been attempting to override or suppress our unique sexual response in
favor of some image we are attempting to portray.  Attempting to hide our
sensitive and caring nature, we may feign cool aloof standoffishness.  Fearing
closeness and intimacy, we may pretend to offer our partners emotional safety
as we become increasingly anxious and uncomfortable.  Desiring intimacy with a
lifetime mate, we may pretend to enjoy one-night stands and non-committed
sexual encounters.  The list goes on.  Our bodies may be quietly and sometimes
not so quietly screaming for our attention.
    We can continue the pretense for awhile, until our
bodily responses finally begin to override our willpower and we are faced with
a sexual problem.  Without an obvious sexual problem, we might would go on
indefinitely behaving in ways that are dramatically opposed to having what we
want and are ultimately not satisfying to us.  Our sexual problem may be the
very catalyst that forces us to stop and examine, not only our sexuality, but
the way we are living our lives and relating to others.
    As we explore our sexuality, we have the opportunity
for change and healing in all areas of our lives. We begin to pay attention to
our bodies, what our bodies are telling us to do or stop doing.  We listen to our
minds, clarifying what we truly need and want.  Feeling our emotions, we
discover what is true for us.  Paying attention to our senses, we feel more
connected to the world and all it has to offer in this life.

Your Sexuality Is Not Separate From Your Life
    We discover that our sexuality is not separate from the rest
of our lives and that our sexuality truly expresses who we are.  As we begin to
express who we are, life becomes a joyful experience, moment to moment.  We
feel love and compassion for ourselves and for everyone and everything around
us.  No longer feeling separate and alone, the world becomes a safe and
pleasant place to be.  Regardless of our age or physical condition, people are
naturally drawn to our warm smile and pleasing demeanor.  Love is all around
us, everywhere we turn.  Sexual Reawakening is the process that brings us back
to ourselves, allowing us to open our hearts, give love to and receive love
from our chosen partners.

Ten Simple Steps To
Sexual And Spiritual Reawakening
    The following exercises will assist you to reawaken your
sexuality, no matter where you are in your life at this very moment. If at all
possible, please set aside a block of uninterrupted time before you begin.  You
can always do these exercises on different days, but