I Am (Not) the Walrus by Ed Briant

strings on top of it. “I don’t think he was a Robin Hood at all.”
    This news wipes the smile off Zack’s face. “What makes you say that?”
    I walk over to Shawn’s nightstand. I open the top drawer. I fumble around until I find what I’m looking for, then toss the wallets onto Zack’s lap. “I thought he had a wallet collection,” I say. “I thought it was something he had a thing for. I was half right. He did like collecting wallets. Other people’s wallets.”
    Zack picks up the wallets one by one. Now it’s his turn to look astonished. He shakes his head. “Well, bugger me backward,” he says under his breath. I open the second drawer down. Inside are more wallets, some cell phones, keys, dozens of keys on rings and tags, and watches. There are about twenty or more watches. They’re mostly cheap digital ones, but one or two are fancier-looking.
    â€œI had no idea,” says Zack. “I had no clue to the real Shawn.”
    â€œYeah, well that makes two of us,” I say as I hold up one of the watches.
    Meanwhile, one particular wallet seems to have caught Zack’s attention. It’s a slender brown leather one. “I lost my wallet a couple of years ago. I thought I’d put it down and lost it. Only had a few quid in it, but I really liked it. I think this is it.”
    I put the watches back in the drawer. “Then there’s this,” I say. I take out the note again. “The bass belonged to a girl,” I say. “I mean look at the little hearts over the I’s. Grown women don’t do that.”
    Zack takes the note, but doesn’t read it. “Whatever happened has happened, and the deed has been done. You can’t undo what’s been done.”
    He returns the note to me. I fold it up again and put it back in my wallet.
    â€œYou’re not going to go to Brunswick and just give the bass back, are you?” Zack rests his guitar across his knees and strums the riff from “Ticket to Ride.”
    I shake my head.
    â€œI’m glad to hear it.” He stops playing and makes some adjustments to the tuning. “It’s a heartrending note, but you can’t do it. It just won’t work.” He starts playing “Ticket to Ride” again. “I feel really bad for this girl, Julie, but I’d feel worse for you and Shawn if you actually went through with it. You can’t un-steal something that was stolen, especially if it was stolen two or three years ago.”
    â€œI don’t think there is a Julie McGuire.” I pick up the bass, and try to get myself into tune with Zack. “Or maybe there is, but she didn’t write the note. I think it’s some kind of scam.”
    â€œWow,” says Zack. “You changed your tune. What brought that on?”
    I draw in a long breath. “I rang the number.”
    â€œOh man! Toby,” says Zack. “What did she say?”
    â€œIt was a guy,” I say. “A really weird guy.”
    Zack begins “Ticket to Ride” yet again, and this time I follow along with the bass part.
    â€œIt’s sounding really good,” says Zack. “How much did you tell this bloke?”
    â€œVirtually nothing,” I say.
    â€œThank God for that,” says Zack. “Just don’t call him again.”
    I shake my head. “I didn’t need to tell him anything,” I say. “All I did was ask him if Julie McGuire was there and right away he knew exactly why I was calling. It almost felt like he could see me through the phone.”
    â€œDon’t stress about it, mate.” Zack pats me on the shoulder. “Just let sleeping dogs lie.”

11
    Saturday
    Horoscope: April 17, Aquarius:
    You will wake up feeling especially confident today. Your decisiveness and self-assurance will lift the spirits of everyone around you.
    By the time Saturday rolls around I think I’ve probably