Wisdom Keeper by Ilarion Merculieff

Unangan who dared go back to this place since that atrocity happened. On our team, we had a forensic anthropologist from the Smithsonian Institute (Bruno Frohlich), a geologist who had been specializing in Aleutian geology for twenty years, and a museum curator. We found that the island had settlements just about everywhere we looked. I sang an old Unangan song as we approached the site of the massacre and asked the film crew not to film the island from a distance, only close up. I didn’t want treasure hunters to know its location.
    I separated from the group and followed two eagles, my “guides,” to one end of the island while the group went to where the atrocities took place. I knew these two eagles. Every island we went to these two eagles would be there. And I knew there was some reason for this, so I followed the direction of their flight until I was at the cliff next to the sea. I felt strongly that I should sing an Unangan song in this place, and I drummed and cried. Inexplicably, a voice of one of my ancestors came into my head saying, “We are still here waiting. We are here to remind our people that they have not grieved the pain, suffering, and death that happened here and everywhere on these islands because theyhave forgotten.” I was stunned to actually hear my ancestor. I had heard of people who experienced such things, but I had not paid that much attention to such stories. Now I experienced it. It struck me right in my heart. I knew that this message was absolutely right.
    When people experience trauma, it is important to grieve in order to let go. Since that horrific day the Russian fur traders arrived to this place, however, my people have not grieved. I knew why. The survivors forced into slavery took on behaviors that led to depression, addictions, suicides, domestic violence, and murders—behaviors that deepened the traumas. They became parents and passed along these behaviors to their children, and these children became adults and had their own children. This intergenerational trauma compounds the sickness resulting from living with a colonial oppressor at the hands of the Russian fur traders and then the U.S. government. We suffer from this today not because the oppressor is physically present with us but because we internalized the oppressor so that we think we are no longer real human beings. I can’t learn, I am stupid, I am less than a white person. Everything that the original oppressors used to say about us we now say to ourselves; we have become our worst enemies.
    To reverse the internal dialogue and related external actions, we must first grieve. Grieving is an individual process and may take a long time. Fortunately, grief counselors and the Alaska Native Medical Center are available to help, and we must take advantage of such support.
    Once we have managed to grieve, we must become aware of how our losses resulted in the decisions we made in our lifetime. Once that is done, we must be big enough to forgive ourselves. Unless and until we forgive ourselves, we cannot forgive anyone else. It is only then that we begin to understand forgiveness of and compassion for others: our parents, our ancestors, the Russian fur traders, the U.S. government.
    Without grieving, we will continue to carry anger and rage toward ourselves first, then others. When we carry anger or rage, we contribute to destroying our people and ourselves. It is the cause of violence toward ourselves and others. It is the cause of wars between peoples.
    Once we separate from our hearts, it is easy to separate from others,including Mother Earth. The Elders say that “nothing is created outside until it is created inside first.”

Chapter 11
A Young Rebel Is Born
    â€œThe doctor is going to operate on all the boys who are nine years old!” Buxaa exclaimed, in a state of high anxiety.
    â€œWhat do you mean?” I replied.
    â€œMy daddy told me that the doctor is going to cut all the