Magnificent Joe by James Wheatley

her up?’
    Jim realized that he was being cued. ‘Well, she’s very glamorous.’
    â€˜She is that. Right, let’s go and introduce you to Barry.’
    Laura allowed Geoff to lead her to the door, and as they left, Jim called after them, ‘Don’t accept any meat from him. It’s raw, in a crunchy coating.’
    â€˜I’ll bear that in mind,’ smiled Laura.
    They walked out into the garden and Jim continued to butter his bread. He sat alone in the kitchen and opened another beer, glad to be out of all the chit-chat for a while.
    It struck him as he finished the first slice. ‘Shit.’ He was scared to look, but he had to, and when he peeked through the open door and saw her again, he was sure. Jim didn’t want to be sure, so he muttered to himself, ‘It’s been years, man. Your memory plays tricks.’ He stared at the kitchen wall and laughed to himself, but it wouldn’t make the idea go away.
    Jim sank the rest of his beer, opened another one, and went outside. He leaned against the wall and watched. Against his advice, Geoff and Laura were eating from the barbecue. Barry helped them to chicken legs. Jim blinked hard, but it was no use; the resemblance was uncanny. As he watched the three of them together, Jim had another horrible thought: What if Barry knows too?
    Barry was stabbing roughly at sausages and burgers, and Jim saw nothing different about him. Jim tried to remember exactly what Barry had said that day, but he couldn’t. For one moment of fleeting relief, Jim thought it was possible that Barry had never even met Laura before, but the feeling crashed away almost immediately.
    â€˜Of course he has. That’s why he chose her.’
    â€˜Sorry, what was that?’
    Jim shuddered back to awareness of the space around him and saw that Barry’s next-door neighbour had caught him talking to himself. ‘Oh. Um, nothing, Pete.’
    â€˜You all right?’
    â€˜I’m fine.’ Jim weaved to one side and steadied himself on the drainpipe.
    â€˜You’ve had too much to drink, mate.’ Pete put his arm around Jim. ‘Come and have a burger.’
    â€˜Get the fuck off me.’
    Pete leaped back as if Jim had pulled a gun on him. ‘All right, all right. Just take it easy.’
    Jim ignored him, because now Laura was talking to Carol, who gave her directions to the toilet. Laura went into the house. Jim waited for a few seconds and then followed her inside.
    At the bottom of the stairs, Jim heard her footsteps on the landing and stopped. He waited until the bathroom door opened and closed, and then gave it another few seconds to make sure no one was coming down. Then he climbed the stairs, leaning on the rail and concentrating on being quiet. It took him longer than he expected, so when he reached the top, he only had time to belch loudly and mutter, ‘Fuck, I’m drunk,’ before the taps were running. Jim stood as straight as he could and waited for her to come out. When the door opened, she almost walked into him.
    â€˜I know who you are.’
    â€˜Yes, we were introduced about twenty minutes ago. You’re pissed.’
    â€˜No. I know who you really are.’
    â€˜What?’
    Jim scooped her into the bathroom and locked the door behind them.
    Silence. She put her hands on her hips and glared at him. ‘Explain yourself.’
    â€˜I remember you and I don’t want to remember you, but I remember you.’
    â€˜Oh my God. Are you mentally ill? Geoff! Geoff!’
    â€˜Shh! Shut up! I need to know if it’s true.’
    â€˜If what’s true? Jim, this isn’t making any sense to me.’
    â€˜Just stay where you are, OK? Don’t move until we’ve sorted this out.’
    â€˜OK. OK.’ She sat on the edge of the bath and spread out her hands in front of her. ‘Let’s get this sorted out, whatever it is.’
    Jim sank onto the toilet seat.