Lead the Way by K.L. Prince

on her cell phone set and it’s ready to go.  She closes her eyes and opens the door to the balcony.  She closes her eyes and listens to the noises outside.  She listens as sirens get louder and then fade as they pass by the apartment building.  She listens to the birds chirping and the sounds of the cars driving along the street.
    “You can do this,” she says to herself, before taking the first step out onto the balcony.  She opens her eyes, rushes to the patio chair, sits down, and closes her eyes again.  It’s the first time that she’s actually sat in the expensive chairs she bought for the patio.  She sent Rosa to buy them one day and then forgot they even existed.  She bought them so that Rosa could sit on the balcony and eat her lunch when she wanted to.
    She hears Gabriel’s voice in her head.  “Eva, open your eyes.”
    Like when she was in the hallway, she opens one eye a sliver, peeking through.  Finally, she opens them both and takes in the view from her balcony for the first time.  She looks left and she looks right.  It is an amazing view.  She never knew.  She can see clear across the city.  The realtor wasn’t lying when she said her that the apartment had an amazing views, especially from the balcony.  Eva had just taken her word for it.
    The timer on her cell phone goes off.  It’s been two minutes.  Eva extends it to five minutes.  She feels comfortable enough to stay out for a little while longer.  There is definitely much less panic coming out onto the balcony, then stepping into the hallway with Gabriel.  She’s basically doing the exact same thing she did with Gabriel, only this time she is alone.  It’s virtually the same experience, but the second time around feels so much different.  She guesses it’s because no one could possibly get to her on the balcony, unless they can fly, but in the hallway, someone could potentially get off the elevator and get to her.
    When the alarm goes off, she goes back into the apartment.  She is incredibly proud of herself.  She sits down on the couch to think.  The dynamics of her situation have shifted.  Her feelings of never getting well have suddenly disappeared.  She wonders if going back to see her psychiatrist might be beneficial now.  As Gabriel has told her over and over, she won’t know until she tries.
    She goes into her office to get her telephone book.  She looks up her psychiatrist, Dr. Ike, and dials the number.  The Doctor is going to be surprised to hear from her.  They didn’t exactly part on the greatest of terms.  She left therapy against Dr. Ike’s medical advice and amid much protest from the Doctor.  She thinks that the Doctor will be happy to hear that she will be returning to therapy.  As well as being happy about her return, she’s sure that the Doctor won’t mind the extra padding to her paycheck either.  She’s not sure what she expects to happen at therapy, but she is willing to give it another try to see where it goes.       
    She sets up the appointment.  She makes her way back into the living room and sits back down on the couch.  She thinks about what it means to start dealing with her problems.  For the first time in a long time, she is optimistic about her future.  She is hopeful, but she’s trying not to get too excited.  Too much excitement might mean disappointment in the future.  She wants to remain realistic and not put too much pressure on herself, in case she isn’t able to go any further in the process.  She doesn’t want to suffer a hard fall if she can’t follow through in the end or has a setback.
    The telephone starts ringing in her hand.  She looks down, thinking that it must be Dr. Ike’s office calling back for some reason, but she doesn’t recognize the number.  She usually lets calls from numbers she doesn’t recognize go to the answering machine, but for some reason she decides to answer it.
    “Hello,” she answers, curious for the