Night Road by Kristin Hannah

needed to remember that. What was special for her was ordinary for him.
    He sat down and pulled her gently down beside him. She immediately took her hand back. She couldn’t be smart when he was touching her, and she needed to be smart. This was her best friend’s brother.
    He said, “Look at me, Lexi. Please,” and she was helpless to resist. He tucked a curly strand of hair behind her ear. It was the gentlest touch she’d ever felt, and it made her want to cry. “I know we shouldn’t be together. Do you want to be, though?”
    “I shouldn’t,” she said quietly. She closed her eyes, unable to look at him. In the darkness, she heard his breath, felt it against her lips, and all she could think about was how often she’d been hurt. Lexi thought about her druggo mom, who’d told her all the time how much she loved her. She’d hold Lexi so tightly Lexi couldn’t breathe, and then suddenly it would be over. Her mom would get pissed and storm off and forget she even had a daughter. The only time Lexi remembered ever being happy before Pine Island was when her mother went to prison. Lexi had been with a nice family then, the Rexlers, and they’d tried to make her feel as if she belonged. Then her mother had come back.
    Usually Lexi tried not to remember those last days with her mother, when Momma had been high all the time and pissed off and mean. Lexi had learned the truth about love then, how close it could be to hate, and how it could empty you out.
    “Mia’s friendship means everything to me,” she said, finally looking at him. She saw how her words hurt him, and she understood at last. All that hostility of his, all that looking away; it had been an act. “You pretended not to like me because of Mia.”
    “From the start,” he said with a sigh. “I wanted to ask you out, but you were already her friend. So I stayed away … or I tried to. I never could, though, not really. And then, when you tried to kiss me…”
    Lexi’s heart felt like taking flight. How was it possible that she could be so happy and so sad at the same time? “We shouldn’t talk about this anymore. We should just forget about it. I couldn’t lose Mia or your family. I couldn’t. I’ve already been hurt enough, you know?”
    “You think I haven’t already thought all of that?”
    “Zach, please—”
    “I can’t stop it anymore, Lex. I’ve been thinking about you for three years. Maybe if you hadn’t kissed me back…”
    “I shouldn’t have.”
    “But you did.”
    “I had to,” she said quietly. It was impossible to lie to him. How could she? She had loved him from the second she first saw him. She started to smile and thought about her teeth and bit her lip.
    “I love your smile,” he said, leaning toward her. She felt the distance between them closing, smelled the peppermint of his breath.
    The kiss started slowly, gently. She felt his tongue touch hers, and her heart seemed to take flight. When he took her in his arms, she gave up, gave in. The kiss went on and on, deepening until she thought she couldn’t stand for it to end. Behind them, the waves whooshed along the shore, and it became a song. Their song. Their sound.
    Desire came from somewhere deep inside of her, radiating outward, tingling, aching. She started to tremble so hard he drew back, looked at her. “Are you okay?”
    No, she wanted to say, no I’m not, but when she saw herself reflected in his eyes, she was ruined. She wanted him with a ferocity that terrified her. It was dangerous to want anything in this life, but his love maybe most of all. “I’m fine,” she lied. “Just cold.”
    He pulled her into his arms. “Can we come here again tomorrow night?”
    They were going down a bad road here; she should hit the brakes now, tell him it was too bad that they loved each other and let it go. Now, while she still could. She should tell him no, say she wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize her friendship with Mia, but when she looked at him,