The Boy Next Door by Meg Cabot

alcoholic variety, which is the only way you’ll ever get me in a gym, by God).
    Anyway, about that other thing I heard you mention. Do you want to know why he didn’t make a pass at you? Max Friedlander, I mean. If you think about it, it all makes sense….I mean, the stories we’ve heard about his ruthless womanizing despite his fear of commitment, his obsession with getting just the right shot of whatever particular subject he is photographing, his constant need for approval, his refusal to settle down in one place, and now this freakish name-change thing?
    Really, it all might boil down to one little thing:
    He’s gay.
    It’s perfectly obvious, darling. That’s why he didn’t make a pass at you.
    XXXOOO
    Dolly

To: Mel Fuller
    From: Nadine Wilcock
    Subject: Calm down
    He is not gay. All right? That is just Dolly. She is messing with your head. She’s bored. Peter Hargrave won’t leave his wife for her, Aaron is still mooning over you, and Dolly has nothing better to do than torture you. You are just playing right into her hands by getting all upset like this.
    Now, are we going to the noon or the five-thirty class tomorrow?
    Nad
    P.S.: I don’t have to tell you how much I hate this, right? This exercise thing? I mean, in case you didn’t know. I hate it. I really hate sweating. It’s not natural. It really isn’t.

To: Nadine Wilcock
    From: Mel Fuller
    Subject: But that would explain…
    why he didn’t try to kiss me, or put his arm around me, or anything! He’s gay!
    And I offered to go with him next time he goes up to the hospital to visit his aunt.
    I must seem like the biggest nagging idiot in the world!
    Mel
    P.S.: Let’s go to the noon class so we can get it over with. I know you hate it, Nadine, but it’s good for you. And sweating is natural. People have been doing it for many thousands of years.

To: Mel Fuller
    From: Nadine Wilcock
    Subject: Are you…
    suffering from a synaptic breakdown?
    First of all, he’s not gay.
    Secondly, even if he was gay, your saying you want to go with him to see his comatose aunt is hardly nagging. It’s actually very nice.
    I told you not to listen to Dolly.
    Remember the chenille bedspread? Remember when you saw him feeding the dog Alpo right there on the bed? Would a gay man ever do that to chenille?
    Nad

To: Nadine Wilcock
    From: Mel Fuller
    Subject: Oh
    Yes. You’re right. No gay man would ever abuse chenille in such a manner.
    Thank God I have you in my life, Nadine.
    Mel
    P.S.: But if he isn’t gay, how come he hasn’t written back? I e-mailed him ages ago about some tropical depressions, and since then they’ve already been upgraded to storms!

To: [email protected]
    From: Jason Trent
    Subject: Oh for God’s sake…
    Just call the girl, would you? While you’re sitting around beating yourself up, some other man could be stealing her out from under your nose!
    Don’t worry, the Max Friedlander stuff will work itself out. You wouldn’t believe some of the lies Jason told me when we first started going out…foremost of which was that he went out once with Jody Foster. He just didn’t mention that it was when she happened to be on the same ferry he was taking to Catalina.
    Yeah, he “went out” with her, all right.
    Oh, and your grandmother showed me a picture of this Michelle girl, whom your brother insists was the most beautiful woman he has ever known: Hello, somebody call the pound, I think there’s a pit bull on the loose—
    And here comes Jason, he’s screaming something about grilled cheese and why don’t I get my own e-mail account, and why must I keep pillaging his, and now he’s trying to shove me out of his chair, even though I