Shaping the Ripples by Paul Wallington

from the table and made her way to the top table where George was sitting. I noticed that quite a number of heads turned as she passed. Soon she was back.
    “It’s alright, George isn’t drinking anyway so he said he’d drop me off at home. He did say we weren’t to embarrass him, so we’d better not polish of all the wine.”
    I took a long drink of the wine and toasted her. “So, how long have you and Rebecca been friends?”
    “We met at college about ten years ago. We just seemed to hit it off straight away, and then shared a house for the second and third years. Then she got a job here in York, and I stayed in London.”
    As we worked through our first course – a delicious assortment of mushrooms and a creamy sauce – and the following winter fruits sorbet, Katie told the story of how she had ended up in York. It was the tale of a long term relationship which had ended very unpleasantly and acrimoniously.
    “David was very angry and bitter, and as all our friends were joint ones, it made for an awkward situation. They all felt they were being forced to choose sides and, as I was the one that had ended it, David tended to get the sympathy vote.”
    She managed to keep her voice very light as she recounted this, but the long pause before she continued suggested that the reality wasn’t quite so painless.
    “Anyway, I got a letter from Becky mentioning that her house mate was moving soon. About the same time, I saw the job at the Crisis Centre in the paper so it looked like a good way of escaping.”
    I looked at her. Again her eyes seemed paler. “That must have hurt a lot, feeling everyone was against you.”
    She gazed directly back at me, her expression unreadable. “I can see why our clients find you so easy to talk to. Yes, it did hurt. Unreasonably I felt very let down. Just because I ended it didn’t mean that it wasn’t just as painful for me. If it hadn’t been for Becky, I would have really struggled.”
    I had never seen her looking vulnerable before, and for one mad moment I wanted to move around the table and give her a hug. Fear of how she would react kept me pinned in my seat though, and the moment passed. Katie shook her head slightly as if to clear it like an etch-a sketch, and then smiled.
    “In the end, it all worked out for the best. I love living in York and I love my job. Becky’s great fun to be around and it’s been nice to have a break from serious relationships. Anyway, now you’ve had my life story, it’s your turn.”
    My reply was postponed by the arrival of our main courses. I had gone for the duck breast in a raspberry sauce, while Katie was having the traditional roast turkey. As we made our selection from the seemingly endless trays of potatoes and vegetables, I had to acknowledge that my reaction to hearing that Katie didn’t have a partner had been one of relief and excitement. Suddenly my fixed position that I was never again going to risk a serious relationship didn’t feel quite so secure.
    “Come on then,” Katie interrupted. “You can’t keep being the man of mystery for ever.”
    Keeping it as casual as possible, I told her about my marriage to Liz and its eventual collapse.
    “Do you still see her?” Katie asked.
    “No,” I replied. “She’s moved to Bristol and started a new life there. We exchange the odd letter or phone call but that’s all. She’s hoping to get married again next summer.”
    “And how about you since then?” she pressed. “No special person in your life?”
    I took another bite of the delicious meat while I considered my answer.
    “The job doesn’t leave much time for a social life. I suppose I’ve just concentrated on that. Being with Liz taught me that I’m not exactly cut out for domestic bliss.”
    Katie’s eyes had now turned to the deepest of green, filled with warmth. She looked on the brink of saying something but then appeared to change her mind.
    “OK, that’s enough comparing scars for now. Let’s talk