When It Rains: The Umbrella Collection by Prudence Hayes

hop to the next without a second thought and the next month he is deeply in love.  Of course, until the first of the next month comes.
    “Cool.   See everyone later and Nora, it was a so much fun hanging out with you tonight,” he sarcastically said and ruffled my hair as he walked by.  I softly laughed for his amusement.
    “Yeah, I got to go, too,” Pops added.
    “Who is it this tonight?” I asked
    “Tonight is Florence.”
    “Oooh, I like her.   She reminds me of Ginger from ‘Gilligan’s Island. So, no Molly?” I asked hoping that his response would be something indicating that she was erased from his little black book.
    “No, not tonight.”
     “I have to go, too.” Alex declared.
    “You have a hot date, too?”   Mike asked shockingly.
    “Yes, I do.   Don’t act so surprised.”
    “With who?” we all asked at the same time.
    “Don’t worry about it!” he hollered and got up and carried his plate, along with Pops, into the kitchen.
    Mike and I were left alone at the table.   “I’m really disappointed in you, Nora,” he said.
    “I know.” And our eyes locked for a second and he got up from the table. I sat there at the table and the thoughts of the last two days floated around my head.   The loss of a friendship and boyfriend, Mr. Garrison’s talk, and seeing the man that took the lives of two people that meant the world to me ping-ponged around and made my head feel heavy with sadness.  I got up and ran upstairs barely with enough strength within my body to make it up the steps.  I wanted to crumble apart so I didn’t have to feel this way.  Once I made it up to my room, I slammed the door shut and began pacing my floor. 
    The voice began again, “Do something about it.  Hurt him.”
    “I can’t.   I can’t hurt him.  He did his time and I just have to deal with it,” I said aloud as my hands squeezed my head at the temple area in anger.
    “You are just going to let Darren walk around scot-free, without you doing anything about it?”
    “No, leave me alone.” I spoke as my hands reached for my hair and pulled it upward, even though it hurt, as my feet continued to walk back and forth to the same spots on my floor.
    I ran over to my top draw next to my bed and desperately searched for a pill to take me away and escape from reality. I pushed aside my notebooks and pens as my fingers feverishly searched.  But I couldn’t find one and panic streamed through me.  I hurled myself up into my bed and tried with all my might to erase the sound that was reverberating in my thoughts.  I threw the pillow over my head hoping to shut out the voice.  My arms were wrapped around my knees tightly and squeezed deep into my stomach as I moaned with sadness.  By the muffled sound of a door being shut multiple times coming though my pillow, I knew everyone had left and I was home alone.  The contrast between the silence of an empty house and the noise-filled hell that was in my head frightened me. 
      “Get the fuck up and do something,” the voice ordered and the feelings inside intensified.  All I wanted to do was to get rid of the voice and eliminate these feelings.  I wanted silence.  I wanted it out.  I sat up on the side of my bed; my feet felt heavy as they landed on the floor and my hands instantly reached for my head and I rocked back and forth.  
    I need to stop this.   I can’t do it anymore.  I can’t breathe like this , I thought to myself, “I hate him.  I have to do something.” I said out loud as the voice egged me on.
    “Yes. Do it.”
    Without clearly thinking and submersed in this pain, I rose from the bed and glanced out the window. The rain had stopped, so I grabbed my jacket along with an umbrella just in case it began again.  I exited my room, but before I went downstairs I headed to Pops room.  I walked into his closet and my head spun around looking for a black metal box.  There it is.  I found his safe.  The metal was cold against my