The Wood Beyond by Reginald Hill

Plan Two as well.'
    'What's that when it's at home?' he asked suspiciously.
    'Well, after our first encounter last night I had the feeling that my boobs hadn't been so closely scanned since my last radiography checkup. I thought if all else failed ... let me rephrase that... I rather hoped all else might fail and I'd have to fall back on the flesh, so to speak. But naturally I'd never come between a man and his moral code.'
    Dalziel considered. Another man might have played for time by pretending to suck on the empty bottle or making reference to the weather, but Dalziel did his considering in plain view. Offers of trade-offs of sexual for constabulary favours weren't uncommon. He rarely bothered himself. A bang was only a bang but a good result was a collar.
    On the other hand, if he was honest with himself (and with himself what was the point of being other?), he really fancied this lass. Not just the boobs. These days even Mid-Yorkshire was bulging with highly visible boobs. See two, you've seen 'em all. And not the way she spoke which still carried too many overtones of the Pitt-Overload era, or whatever the prat's name was. And certainly not all this dotty animal rights stuff. And she wasn't young. And she wasn't beautiful. Any other strikes against her? Yes, of course, the big one. OK so ALBA would almost certainly decide not to proceed against her. And the possible charges he'd just listed weren't worth wasting his time on. But if he thought there was any chance at all that she'd been mixed up in this Redcar thing . . .
    Very long odds against. One in a million. Less. She'd offered alibis and from what he'd seen he reckoned that she'd sussed out he wasn't the kind of cop who'd let a bit of nookie stop him from checking. So why was he looking for an excuse to reject what his whole being was urging him to grab with both hands?
    Mebbe he was a bit scared of his own desire. Mebbe it was because there was something about her that hit the spot, like the bouquet of an untried single malt when you opened the bottle, telling you that this was one to be savoured.
    She was regarding him oddly. Calculatingly?
    'What're you thinking of?' he asked abruptly.
    'Old friend of mine, same name as the novelist. Balzac,' she said smiling.
    Bloody incomprehensible. But which on 'em wasn't?
    Condition of service! And at least he now understood her motive for getting him alone. Just as he'd been identifying her weaknesses over the past hour, so she'd identified his last night, and taken a bloody sight less time about it.
    Question his sodding vanity wanted answering was this. Was Plan Two a Last Resort, or really a Principle Object disguised as a Last Resort?
    She read a question in his eyes, but misread it also.
    She said, 'I had nothing to do with the Redcar raid, Andy. And I deplore what they did, both personally and as an activist.'
    Well, she would say that, wouldn't she? Clever thing for a cop to reply was, I believe you.
    'I believe you,' he replied. 'Them bones you lot found last night, looks like they could be pretty old.'
    'So?'
    'I mean too old to have owt to do with ALBA. With a bit of luck they might even turn out too old to have owt to do with the CID!'
    'That's interesting.'
    'Aye. Means there might be nothing at all to investigate. Certainly means you and the folk up there aren't mixed up in any investigation. I rang my media contacts on the way here, told 'em they could go to town.'
    There. Now let's see if the chicken still crossed the road.
    The phone started ringing.
    'Could be for me,' said Dalziel. 'I left 'em your number. Or it could be News at Ten.'
    'Shall I answer it?'
    'Up to you. You're a free agent.'
    'Yes, I am,' she said seriously. 'How about you, Andy? How's the moral code?'
    Dalziel didn't mind a bit of obliquity but this was beginning to sound . .. what was that word Pascoe sometimes came out with? . .. sphincteresque? Summat like that. Any road, enough was enough.
    He stood up and started taking his tie