Dating for Demons by Serena Robar

hear the talking cat. Because really, that would be crazy , right?
    “Hunter? Why is that cat talking to us and why can I hear it?”
    I’m not sure who was more surprised, Hunter or the cat.
    “You can hear me?”
    “You can hear him?”
    They both spoke at the same time.
    “Uh, yeah. Why is the cat talking?” I was trembling and Hunter immediately pulled off his duster and wrapped it around me. I couldn’t seem to stop shaking. He pulled me close to him and we sank down on the grass. He rocked me in his arms and I tried to stop shaking.
    “Chick’s in shock, man,” the cat proclaimed, jumping from the headstone to the grass.
    “If you even think about crawling up in her lap and purring I will snap your scruffy neck here and now.”
    Hunter’s face was thunderous. The cat paused in mid-step. He sat his furry bottom down a good five feet away from us and waited.
    My shaking started to subside. The racking turned to tremors and the cat went back to licking himself. This time he was more industrious with his cleaning, deciding all his manly cat parts needed a thorough washing.
    “Ew, do you have to do that here? Now? Have you no respect for the dead?” It had to be said.
    “We-ll, lookie who’s all proper now. I wasn’t the one just exchanging slobber with a Demon Slayer in this oh sacred of sacred places, honey.”
    “Demon Slayer?” I repeated blankly, looking at Hunter. He was a Demon Slayer? What did that mean anyway?
    “Well, you’re the half-blood Protector,” he blurted in his defense.
    “She’s not the Protector.”
    “I’m not the Protector.”
    The cat and I spoke in unison.
    Hunter looked confused, then angry. “You have to be. I was under your spell. You hypnotized me!” he accused. “I was helpless to stop you from biting me and making me your Undead slave.”
    His tirade ended a bit lamely as though once the words were spoken he could hear how ridiculous they sounded. Hunter was still confused, but the cat thought it was hysterical. He howled with kitty laughter.
    “Oh my, oh my.” He wiped tears of laughter from his eyes with his paw. “Oh, I can’t stand it. Wait ’til the cats on the fence hear this one. Hunter falls for a girl he thinks is a vampire—and not just any vampire, but the one prophesied to bring the end of the world. Hahahaha.”
    I frowned at the cat. Hunter knew about the Prophesy? Then it clicked. Of course he did. That’s why he was “helping” me. He thought I was the Protector and he wanted to see how I was going to end the world. I should have been furious, but the idea wasn’t so far-fetched.
    After all, I wouldn’t meet him during the day. The Protector was my best friend and the first time we met she was injured. If he saw me stake that last vampire, it would be easy to assume I was the one who did all the slaughtering. Plus he had gone to a vampire sorority house to find me after seeing the Psi Phi House bumper sticker on my car.
    I thought back to the vampire library, when he didn’t seem at all surprised by all the weird stuff around him and when the alarm went off and the bright sunlight burst over us, he quickly threw his coat over me in an act of protection. Then he tried to get me to the House before dawn and even asked if I made it inside okay. It was a very chivalrous gesture, if he thought the sunlight would burn me to death.
    And tonight he’d been willing to let me bite him because he wanted me so much. Sure, he thought I had hypnotized him, but I couldn’t possibly have done that so he just really wanted me to kiss him. He liked me despite the fact that he thought I was a vampire. Obviously he’d struggled with this attraction a great deal, and he didn’t need some mangy cat laughing at him for it.
    I kicked out at the feline. “Knock it off.”
    The cat dodged my foot and I barely grazed its tail.
    “No need to get physical, sweetie. It’s just funny is all. If you knew Hunter like I knew him.”
    “I don’t understand how