The Boyfriend Bylaws by Susan Hatler

surprised. “No date on the Hallmark holiday, huh?”
    Had he just…. “I thought I was the only one who called it that.”
    “Don’t tell anybody, but...,” he held his hand to the side of his mouth and whispered, “I think St. Valentine’s Day is all part of a huge advertising scheme created by flower and chocolate companies. Now, if we could just make a holiday to help sell software programs, we’d be set.”
    “Great idea. It’s the twenty-first century, after all. How about Happy Computer Day?” Oh, how I’d like to celebrate that holiday with him in a non-working way. Run my fingers over his…keyboard. I smiled at the thought.
    Everything felt better when I was with Noah. The way he looked at me, our easy banter, the sparks between us that I was obviously imagining.
    My mood went from elated to deflated in a matter of seconds. That’s reality for you.
    “I’ll put Computer Day down on my calendar.” He checked his watch suddenly. “Almost time to call it a day. So, uh, are you going on that blind date?”
    I paused, wondering why he sounded so interested. Probably just being polite. “Me? Make trivial conversation with someone I’ve never met, likely don’t have anything in common with, and all for the minutely slim shot it’ll work out? I haven’t decided.”
    He tilted his head and gave me a side-glance. “You make dating sound worse than going to the dentist.”
    I avoided his eyes, wanting to kick myself for letting that slip. “I hear you have big plans.”
    His brows quirked and he glanced toward his office. “You heard what I said to Melinda?”
    Uh, yeah, and I still had the neck strain to prove it. “Couldn’t help but notice, what with the e-mail poll going around.”
    “E-mail poll?”
    “About whether or not you’d ask her out.”
    He studied my face and seemed like he couldn’t decide whether to believe me or not. “And what was your vote?”
    “She’s pretty. Fun.” I shrugged. “Any guy would have a good time with Mel.”
    Frowning, he tapped his file on his opposite palm. “So you think all I need is a pretty face?”
    Great. Now, I’d insulted him. I raised both hands in surrender. “Just a joke. There wasn’t a poll. I swear.”
    “Rach, I….” Ellen’s head popped over our shared cubicle wall and she gaped when she saw Noah. “I, um, was just checking to see if you’ve reconsidered that thing we talked about earlier.”
    I hesitated. Noah had big plans, whereas I had popcorn and a movie with my beloved beagle. My pride paused to reconsider.
    “Well, I’ve got to finish up a thing or two before I head out.” Noah wrote a quick note, then handed it to me. He gave Ellen a paper as well. “I’ll let you two talk. Hope you both have a great weekend. Happy Valentine’s Day.”
    “Happy Valentine’s Day.” It pained me to say it. I didn’t want him happy on Valentine’s Day unless he was with me.
    Ellen scanned her paper. “Sure, Noah. You, too.”
    I gestured to the yellow sheet Ellen was holding. “What did he hand you?”
    She shrugged. “Software updates. You? ”
    I glanced down at mine. Sure enough, software updates. In the top right corner, however, he’d scribbled in his smooth handwriting: Take a chance. A trip to the dentist can fix some painful aches.
    My heart sank. If he was giving me dating advice, we’d clearly entered The Friend Zone. Obviously he wasn’t going to take a chance with the brunette who couldn’t afford to highlight her hair.
    “So?” Ellen’s eyes sparkled. “What’s it going to be? TV with Chester or a blind date with a guy your best friend has complete confidence you’ll adore?”
    I stared at Noah’s note.
    Take a chance? I’d taken plenty. My high school boyfriend? Turned out to be mostly hormones. My numerous dates in college taught me zilch about romance and plenty about the dos and don’ts of drinking. Ah, yes, and let’s not forget my recent fiascos.
    Seriously, why would any smart girl put her