How I Planned Your Wedding by Susan Wiggs

of open spots in my wedding party. The bridal books will tell you to find a memorable, fun and meaningful way to invite your girlfriends to be bridesmaids. I kind of wish I’d read that part before sticking my foot so far into my mouth I couldn’t see straight.
    Here’s how to ask your friends to be bridesmaids: have a plan, know how many girls you will have in your wedding party and don’t ask anyone until you’ve decided who each of your maids will be.
    You’ve probably guessed that I screwed the pooch on that.
    The first girl I asked was my childhood best friend, Melissa. Shortly after Dave proposed to me, she asked who my bridesmaids were goingto be. Caught off guard, I stammered, “Well, YOU, obviously.” Gah! Think about it: if you were going to be a bridesmaid, would you want to be asked like that?
    In a more graceful world, I would have said, “You know, Melissa, I haven’t thought that far ahead yet.” And then I would have taken her out to lunch and made a cheesy but totally awesome speech about how much her friendship meant to me and how I would be so happy to have her stand up there with me on my wedding day.
    But, oh boy, it gets way worse from there.
    I knew I wanted my friend Lucy, a former college roommate, to be a bridesmaid. So I instant messaged her. During work. I actually have the conversation saved in my computer:
    me: so i was thinking…
    Lucy: hold on one sec, my manager is coming over
    me: okay
    [ten minutes pass]
    me: …you there?
    Lucy: i’m here, sorry
    Lucy: what were we talking about?
    me: well so i have a HUGE favor to ask
    me: you can totally say no if you want
    me: like, seriously
    me: like, if you don’t want to say yes, you WILL NOT hurt my feelings
    me: because i understand that this is a huge favor
    me: …a HUGE, HUGE favor
    me: but
    Lucy: do you need money, wiggs?
    me: god! no!
    Lucy: oh okay because it’s totally cool if you do
    (Let’s pause for a moment so I can clarify a few things. First, I have never asked a friend for money. Good lord. I think Lucy must have been thrown off by the way I introduced the subject. Second, gag me. What was I trying to do, talk her out of being in my wedding? I showed the grace of a hippopotamus trying to dance Swan Lake .) Anyway. The conversation continued:
    me: no! i was just going to ask if you wanted to be a bridesmaid!
    me: but i know that being a bridesmaid is a burden and it’s fine if you’d rather just come to the wedding as a guest
    Lucy: aw, wiggs, of course i’d love to be a bridesmaid!
    me: really?:)
    Lucy: yeah! that’s so sweet of you to ask me!
    me: omg i’m so excited!!! i just knew that you had to be up there with me
    Lucy: wow, i’m so happy! hey, i have a meeting right now but i’ll call you later, k?
    Ugh. Reading that now makes me realize how lame I was when I asked Lucy. If she didn’t know me better, she probably would have thought I was trying to get her to say no. Again, that would have been a great time for me to call her up, since she didn’t live in the same city as me, and have a conversation about being a bridesmaid when she wasn’t juggling work meetings and roaming, predatory managers.
    And then there were Molly and Lindsey, my two best friends. We had been close in college, but we fell in friend-love when we all ended up in Seattle after graduation. They were the first non–family members I called when Dave and I got engaged, and both of them reacted to the news by screaming so loudly with happiness that the speaker on my cell phone was forever damaged.
    They were my rocks throughout the bridesmaid fight with my mom, counseling me and encouraging me.
    Yes, Dear Readers, I did say that they listened to my agony over deciding who to have in my wedding party. My two best girlfriends.
    One day, as we were out having coffee together, I said to both of them, “You know, I really wish I could ask you to be bridesmaids, but you’re the only two people who I don’t have to play politics with. I