A Way to Get By by T. Torrest

shouted, “So even he thinks he bought me? What the hell, Eddie?”
       “Oh, so you can go to him for money but I can’t?” She went silent at that as I massaged my neck and tried to make her see the logic in my decision. “Look. You and I both know that you’ve been in contact with the guy. I wouldn’t have done this if I didn’t already know you wanted it. Brummel can give you the kind of life I never could. I thought I was doing a good thing.”
       “My husband playing matchmaker could never be a good thing. What were you thinking? ”
       I couldn’t keep the derision from my voice as I snickered and answered, “I was thinking I’d help you in your quest to cash in.”
       Her mouth dropped open as her eyes turned to slits. The look she was aiming at me felt like a slap across the face. Man, was she pissed . “If I wanted to be obligated to the guy, I would have accepted the money he offered me. But I didn’t. I turned him down. And then you go and take it anyway! You really think Beau Brummel is what I want?! You think I can’t do better than him?!”
       I gave a rub to my jaw and shot back, “You did do better than him. You were married to me , remember?”
       “Of course I remember. I thought we’d live happily ever after.”
       “I was happy.”
       “Yeah, well too bad you had to go and mess everything up.”
       I couldn’t even have this argument with her anymore. We’d been talking in this same circle for months. I knew I wasn’t going to change her mind.
       She let out with a sigh, running a hand over her hair. “So what happens now, Eddie? If I don’t share his bed, you’ll have to give the money back?”
       “That’s not how this works. I wouldn’t do that to you. He paid me to back off and give you the okay, not to set you two up. I made it very clear that if you don’t want him, then that’s his problem. I won’t have to give it back.” I pulled my wallet from my pocket and rifled through the fold of bills, landing a sizeable stack of them on the coffee table. “Here. I only came by to give you some of it. PSE&G sent another damned shutoff notice weeks ago, and you’re obviously behind on the rent.” I raised an eyebrow at her as a sarcastic grin escaped from my lips. “ Brummel will probably take over the rest eventually, but at least you’ll be caught up until then.”
       She put her hands on her hips, shaking her head in disbelief. “I really hate that you made this decision for me.”
       “Look, Bren. I know you like him. You wouldn’t have bothered keeping in touch with him if there wasn’t at least something there. I hate the guy, but I know he’s always been good to you. I wouldn’t have gone along with it if he was a total asshole. I just want to see you happy, I swear. It kills me, but if Brummel is going to be the guy to do it, I’d make the decision ten times over.”
       “So, you’re okay with this?”
       “No, Bren! Of course I’m not okay! But dammit. I’d rather know you were moving onto a decent guy you already know than some random jerk off the street.”
       She crossed her arms, staring off at the air behind my head. “I don’t even know if I’m ready for this.”
       “Well, get ready. Because it’s happening. You’re the one that made sure of that. You’ve been heading down this road for months. I’m just finally ready to acknowledge it.”
       Part of me knew it was the truth. But another huge part of me was waiting for her to deny it, to tell me she didn’t want him, she only wanted me, we didn’t need to do this, we could find a way to work it out. I mimicked her crossed arms and stared her down, waiting for her to put a stop to this whole thing.
       “Okay, Eddie. You’re right.” She looked down at her feet, unable to meet my eyes as she added, “We both know I’ve been keeping Beau on the backburner. Maybe it’s time I do something about it.”
       As if on cue, the