EXALTED (An Exalted Novel) by Tara Elizabeth

call that noise you just made?”
    “A laugh. You laugh when something is funny—when you’re happy. It’s like smiling out loud.” He looks me over and says, “And that, that’s called being embarrassed. You’re so red.” He laughs some more. “Can’t take a compliment, can you?”
    My face turns hard, devoid of any happiness or laughter. The space between my eyebrows scrunches up. I set my jaw. “I can take a compliment just fine as long as it’s about my skills. No one has any reason to notice the way I look. That’s not important.”
    “And that’s called getting mad or maybe annoyed.” His laughter dies. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.”
    “It’s okay. I’m sorry to. I just seem to have such strong reactions to everything. Is that normal?”
    “It is. You’ve never experienced emotions before. It’ll take a while for you handle experiences and the emotions associated with them at a “normal” level. When I first came off the Pump I was so angry all the time. I wanted to kill everybody that crossed my path. Now look at me, I’m smiling and walking through fields of corn with a pretty girl . . . er . . . a strong girl. Anyway, it does get better.” Ryker fumbled a little there, but he recovered nicely.
    I turn and enter into the embrace of the corn, hiding within their cover. We are still separate by stalks as we walk, but I’m able to lose my rigid demeanor. I enjoy my time with Ryker as he explains several more emotions to me and gives their names. Some of them I haven’t felt yet, like grief, envy, surprise, rage, and pity. I hope to experience them all someday, even the bad ones. There are others that I have felt. I’ve experienced fear (which is occurring too often for my liking), happiness (my favorite so far), guilt (about not telling Val about the Pump), and disappointment (the way I’ve been feeling about the Republic recently). I repeat them back several times to him, hoping to remember them all. I’d like to share them with Ethan.
    I open my mouth to ask my new acquaintance about what’s out there, beyond the Republic, but he abruptly stops walking. Ryker whips his head around to the North as if he heard something. I haven’t heard anything at all. “I have to go,” he mumbles, and then he sprints away, head ducked low, fading into the croplands.
    “But what am I supposed to do now?” The question hangs in the air with no one to hear it except the corn. I feel disappointed once again, as I stand here companionless and drowning in a field of questions. My heart sinks.
    As I finish the last half hour of my patrol, I think about what I should do, and for the second time, what I want to do. I hold my life in my hands. It’s my life. The memory of the freedom of choice at the Choosing Day ceremony comes back to me briefly. I compare that moment to this moment. It doesn’t even come close to the magnitude of the possibilities and consequences that I face now. Should I leave, like Ryker did? No. I should stay. This is my home. My parents and my friends are here. I want to prove my abilities and rank amongst the Exalted as the strongest female in my Trials. But do I want to go through with the United Ceremony at the end of it all? Before, when I had no emotions, I would have been honored to be United with the strongest male. Now, I want more than that. I want to choose my United. I want him to choose me. What if I am matched with Az? I don’t think I could live with him as a mate for life. The more I think about it, the angrier I get at the Republic for taking away our choices. Ryker was right. They are controlling the Exalted, and in fact, breeding us to their liking. It’s sick, but the sad thing is, we all want it that way.
    Anger surges through me, like hurricane force winds beating against the city’s walls. And just because I want to, I cut off an ear of the golden corn that I’ve been protecting. I shove it deep in my knife sheath. I don’t want to eat