A Part of Me by Taryn Plendl

stood. 
    “I’m good Talia.  Do you have time to sit?”  His smile was so genuine and welcoming that I always had felt so comfortable around him.
    “Sure.”  I followed him to a square table and sat my tray down.  He was studying me and I finally raised my eyebrows at him.
    “Do you want to talk about it?”  He asked and I wondered how he could know something was wrong.  Was I that transparent?
    “What do you mean?”  I questioned and he just smiled gently at me again.
    “Well, I’ve known you for awhile Talia, and the fire that was always in you seems to be gone these days.  How’s your friend?”  He asked and I couldn’t look at him.  I knew my face betrayed me.
    “I don’t know.”  I whispered and shrugged my shoulders, fighting back the tears.
    “What happened?” He was being so gentle with me, almost like I would break at any moment.  Hell, I probably would.
    I told him about my time with Tom before the accident and how much fun we had together.  I explained the guilt and sadness I still felt from when they brought him in, and then I told him about the time we spent while I was taking care of him.  I even told him about kissing him, leaving out the sordid details, but when I got to the last day, the one where I had left, I couldn’t control my tears anymore.
    “I’m really sorry Dr. Connor.  I’m a mess right now.”  I told him what Tom had said to me that day and how hurt and destroyed I felt.  At his urging, I finally told him about the last time I’d seen him at the club, and how sad and broken he looked.  I was so lost, like a part of me had been ripped out of my heart, and I didn’t know how to pick myself back up.
    “Talia, I’m sorry you’re hurting right now.  Sometimes there isn’t an easy way out of a problem, but from what you’ve shared with me just now, I think it’s pretty safe to say that you love this man, even after everything.”  I nodded.  I did love Tom.
    “Love is irrational, but so is pain.  I imagine Tom is hurting just as much as you right now.  Sometimes the people you would take a bullet for are the ones pulling the trigger.”  He sighed and then smiled back at me.  “Sometimes we push away the ones we love and need the most because we think it’s best for them.  Maybe Tom feels like he’s a burden and doesn’t want to tie you down.”  Wow, I hadn’t thought of it that way .
    “Why don’t you tell him how you feel?  Just lay it all out there.  If he doesn’t return your feelings, then you’ll have that closure and be able to move on.”  Dr. Connor reached out and squeezed my hand before excusing himself.
    I sat there with my uneaten sandwich for the next fifteen minutes until my pager went off.  I had no idea what to do next.  Maybe Dr. Conner was right.  Maybe I needed to tell Tom how I felt.  I guess I hadn’t realized that I never put that out there.
    They always say that actions speak louder than words, but I guess sometime the words are just as necessary.
    I stood up and pushed in my chair before setting my tray on the garbage can.  I wrapped my sandwich back up in the plastic wrap and brought it with me.  I would have to save it for later.  My life seemed full of missed opportunities lately.
     
     

 
    Chapter16
     
    Tom
    “How does that feel?”  James asked as he watched me stand.  James was a prosthetist that I had been working with over the last few weeks to be fitted with my new prosthesis.  I had been wearing a temporary prosthesis whenever I was alone to get used to it, but continued to use my crutches out in public.  I wasn’t quite comfortable with using it yet.  I wanted to make sure it felt perfect before…
    “Tom?”  James was waiting for me to try it out. 
    “Oh, sorry.”  I took several steps, marveling at the difference from the temporary one.  This felt so sturdy and the fit was much for comfortable.  “It’s good.”  I grinned.
    “Great!  If you decide you need some