Snow & Ash: Endless Winter by Theresa Shaver

Matty lets out a screech and reaches for me. I pull off the painter’s mask and hand it to him. That’s all it takes to make the kid happy again. He spends the next ten minutes putting it on his face and pulling it off while yelling BOO before belly laughing again. I leave him on the mattress playing while I go into the bathroom and do my own clean up with the wipes. I use a tiny bit of water from a bottle to brush my teeth while trying not to yawn. I’m so tired, I just want to crash. A quick thought passes through my head that this must have been how Mom felt at the end of a busy day dealing with me and Matty. I shake it away, still not ready to deal.
    By the time I come out of the bathroom, Belle’s done with her mattress and has blankets on both. Sasha has Matty on the couch with a bottle and his eyes are starting to droop closed. I go over and gently pry his little fingers from the painters mask. I shoot a quick look at Sasha’s face but she seems almost as zoned out as the kid so I start humming the song Mom always sings to him at bedtime. His lips curve up around the bottle but his eyes stay closed so I keep humming even though the tears I said I couldn’t deal with are pouring down my face. I keep humming as pictures flash through my mind of Mom and all the cool things she used to do with me, from beating me constantly at Halo to tackling me during laser tag. The hateful words I said to her over the last month to the way she looked after the van crashed, they all keep circling around in my head until my humming turns to sobs and then Belle’s pulling me away. She’s holding me in her arms and rocking me and I finally just let it all go.

Chapter Nine-Skylar
    Here’s the thing about living in a cave, there’s nowhere to go. I’m mad, I’m mad at my Dad, I’m mad at Mom that she’s gone and I’m even a little mad at the baby because he needs me so much. I just want to run away and be alone and mad but I’m stuck here and the stupid computer say’s it’ll be years before it’ll be safe to live outside. I heard Dad talking to it about forecasts and it says something called nuclear winter is coming. It’s August so I don’t get how any kind of winter will be here for months but who cares, it just means I’m stuck in here.
    The days just seem to blend into each other with nothing changing. I feel like I’m in a fog and I keep waiting for something, anything to happen that will change our situation. I can’t get out of the shelter so instead I explore it. With baby Benny strapped into his sling I roam through the different levels and areas. I go through every door that I can open and kick the ones I can’t in frustration. I’m beginning to hate the sound of AIRIA’s voice when she says,
    “Skylar Ross, unauthorised entry.”
    I’ve made so many laps through this place I’m beginning to see as a prison that by the end of the day my feet and legs ache.
    I’m bored and I just can’t imagine being stuck in here for the rest of my life. There has to be more. As my frustration and anger grow day by day there’s only one outlet and that’s taking it out on Dad. He always seems to be busy with building something, taking care of the animals or planting seeds in the grow area. My attitude and sarcastic tone seem to bounce right off of him which makes me even madder. I’ll admit it, I was a huge brat! So it almost comes as a relief when he finally loses his patience with me.
    Ten days, it’s been ten days since my life ended. I lie in bed staring up at the ceiling and wonder if I should even bother getting up. I mean, what’s the point? Another day of just wandering around my prison seems so pointless so I roll over and close my eyes.
    “Skylar, get your butt out here!”
    My eyes pop back open. This is new. Dad hasn’t really talked to me in days. I sort of want to ignore him and just stay in bed but I worry it’s something to do with the baby so I roll out and stuff my feet in slippers before