Twisted by Tracy Brown

put Rah-lo down. Rasheeda had watched her father swallow his pride and bite his tongue while Asia ranted and raved. Rasheeda looked into her daddy’s eyes and smiled a sad little grin. “Daddy, I just wanted to tell you that I’m not mad at you for leaving,” she said. “I don’t blame you for wanting to get away from her. You deserve to be happy.”

    Rah-lo was stunned to hear his daughter speaking this way. She sounded so mature for her age. She had a poor relationship with her mother; that much he knew. Rasheeda was going through her teenage rebellion and she had chosen Asia as the target of it. But what Rah-lo didn’t know was that it wasn’t just teenage angst that made Rasheeda so mean toward her mother. It was Asia’s ways that Rasheeda despised. She hated that her mother did so little and her dad did so much. Rasheeda had noticed long ago that her mother had no interest in the things that were important to her. If Rasheeda came home eager to talk about something that had happened at school, Asia often snapped at her, telling her that she didn’t care about that silly shit. All Asia cared about was herself. At times, Rasheeda felt that her dad was the mother and the father in their household. Other times, Rasheeda felt like she herself was a single parent, always having to pick up her sisters, cook for her sisters, babysit them, and help with their homework when her dad was out making money. It was always her or Rah-lo doing their part, never Asia doing hers. So Rasheeda understood her father’s decision to leave. She couldn’t wait until the day when she could leave, too.
    Rah-lo sighed. He hated that Rasheeda had witnessed their fight the other day. He especially hated that she had heard about his infidelity. He had been his daughters’ untainted hero for all of their lives. All they knew was that he took care of them, he seldom raised his voice, he paid attention to them, and he loved them more than anything in the world.

    â€œCome here,” he said. He sat down on his king-sized bed and Rasheeda came and sat beside him. “I never claimed to be perfect. I don’t want your mother to ever tell you anything about me that will make you see me differently. Don’t let her change the way you see me. I need you to always see ‘Daddy’ when you look at me, no matter what she says to try and change your mind about me. Know that I always got you and I won’t let nothing hurt you. But I’m not perfect.”
    â€œYou didn’t have to tell me that,” Rasheeda said. “I know how she is.”
    Rah-lo hated that his daughter felt this way about her mother. But he was glad that Rasheeda understood that he was unhappy. “Your mother has some foul ways, Rasheeda. But she does love you. So do I. But we just don’t make each other happy anymore. That happens sometimes. You start out loving each other and understanding each other’s faults. And then sometimes it gets to the point where you don’t love each other the same way you used to. And then all the things you used to be able to tolerate start to get on your nerves. Neither one of us is happy being together anymore. Maybe if I go, your mother can be happy on her own. Maybe I can, too. We’ll both be better parents, maybe even better friends, when we’re apart. But it has nothing to do with you or your sisters. I will always be here for y’all. I swear. Nothing will ever change that.”
    Rasheeda nodded. “Can I come with you?” she asked.
    Rah-lo felt his heart break. He wanted to tell her that
she could, but he knew that Asia would fight him tooth and nail, if only to make his life miserable. “Not tonight. You should stay here with your mother and explain to your sisters that I’ll be by to see them soon. I need to go get my place set up and all that, and then if you want to, you can come and stay with me for as long as you want. I