Cole (The Leaves) by J.B. Hartnett

didn’t want to say anything, but I had to.
    “What is it? Did something happen?” He was freaking out. He hid it well, but I knew he was worried about me all the time.
    “Can we sit down?”
    We sat on the couch, across from our painting. I glanced up at it and said, “How appropriate…”
    “Anika…” He let out a sigh of exasperation.
    “Okay, first things first… baby, you need to let me breathe a little bit. I know you’re looking out for me, I know you’re worried about me, but I need to be able to fall. I’m happy to be here with you all day, every day, but sometimes I need some time to just… be. That starts tonight. I need to paint it out, Cole.” Right as I said the word ‘paint’ I began to cry.
    “I was wondering when you were going to. Whatever you need. I can go out and leave you here. I won’t be far; you can call me if you need me…”
    I cut him off, “No, that’s not what I want or need. I want you behind me, in your jeans, coming in every so often to check on me. And I need to go see Nico. I need a new leaf. I hope you understand, Cole. It’s not because you’re not enough, you are. But I’ve been doing it for so long it just feels like I need that piece of the puzzle.”
    “Of course. I don’t think that at all. We’ll go now if you want.”
    “So, we’ll go see Nico, and then we’ll get some Mexican?”
    “Sure,” he said, brushing my hair back.
    “And then, I need you to make me an appointment to talk to someone, Cole.” He didn’t say anything, not at first. He just pulled me tight against him and began shaking. Oh no. The last thing I wanted to do was upset him. “Cole?”
    “Fuck, Anika, if I could make it all disappear, I would in a second. I’ll make a call. I already found someone who specializes in… your situation.”
    Then something occurred to me and it scared the hell out of me.
    “Cole?”
    “Yeah, baby,” he said gently. He brushed a tear from my cheek.
    “How do I talk to this person without telling everything? I mean, Joe… his family probably had him offed… my mom, Joe probably killed her and dumped her body somewhere… how do I, what do I…?”
    “She’s only legally bound to share outside that office if you intend to harm yourself or someone else. Even if you went in there and said, ‘I chopped up this guy with an axe and he’s buried in my basement…’ her job would be to help you do the right thing and go to the police. She would do that, to help you heal. That’s her job, not to pass judgment.”
    That was a relief.
    “I love you so much Cole. You have no idea. Thanks for not giving up on me. I know I’m a little bit crazy.”
    “You’re not crazy, Anika. You’ve had some crazy shit happen to you, but you’re not crazy, baby.”
    I stared at his chin and remembered standing on that dais, hearing Aimes’ reaction to me in my dress before I’d opened my eyes. “The dress is beautiful. I know this will sound over the top girly, but I totally felt like a princess.”
    “Look at me, Anika.” I knew he was smiling too. “That dress, or whatever dress you wear could be encrusted in diamonds and it would only be an accessory to your beauty… inside and out.”
    “Right. Back. Atcha. Except in a tux, not a dress. Just so we’re clear.” I giggled.
    “Yeah, baby. We’re clear.”
    Best. Fiancé. Ever.

Cole 11
    Cole
    Aimes had given me Nico’s number secretly, just in case. I wondered when Anika was going to break. She’d been going right along like nothing happened. She told me about the woman who managed the bridal store. How she was able to recognize Anika’s pain. I wasn’t really sure how, but she said they’d both had tattoos done by this Nico guy so that must’ve tipped her off.
    I wanted to make everything better for her, but I couldn’t unless she let me in. She hadn’t painted since Joe took her, so I was waiting. My mom thought I should gently push her, but it didn’t feel right. I let her be my guide